Tomorrow, Some News

I had things light up on the PET scan and I find out tomorrow what next. I am scared. I have to say that reading all these blogs does give me hope. It's Sunday morning, and I am looking out the window---my boyfriend Joe has been my rock through all this. I just lit a candle and I am thinking about how everything flickers like that candle.

I find out from Hackensack what happens next. They will probably be giving me a drug called Gemzar if things turn out that cancer is left. I am considering a clinical trial that combines Gemzar with another experimental drug. I really want to get the transplant. I just seem to have so much trouble getting there.

I was very happy with my docs at Hackensack. I am going to Sloan Kettering next week....This has been such a long process and sad a lot of the time. Today looks beautiful out. I am a poet without words. I haven't written a poem in a long while. I should post some poems here. I miss writing. The words have evaporated from my brain. Just love this place so much. I hope God has some good news in store. I need hope so badly......